Beads in May

some notes from AQLM

Monday, May 12, 2008

Things I'm Not Allowed to do at AQLM

1. Ask for enough beads to make a pretty fluorescent necklace
2. Attempt to quantitatively determine the number of active flavor compounds in the food.
3. Use beer as an immersion fluid in place of oil or water.
4. Steal an objective from Nikon and use it to look for ships on the water.
5. Find a group of FIR students and attempt to explain to them "the facts of life."
6. Complain loudly that the lecture slides are blurry and attempt to align Kohler in the projector.
7. Scream loudly, "My eyes!" while learning TIRF.
8. Replace the regular coffee with decaf when nobody is looking.
9. Redraw the arrows on all of the analyzers and polarizers.
10. Replace birefringent demo crystals with NaCl.
11. Arrange the fluorescent beads on slides so that they spell naughty words.
12. Point out that Photoshop is just as effective for correcting spherical aberration as the PSF.
13. Refer to all DIC objectives as Dick 1, Dick 2, etc.
14. Replace all of the glass bottom dishes with plastic.
15. Claim that the MBL has insisted that a corking fee be assessed on every bottle of beer or wine.


Blogger AQLM Blogger said...

You ARE allowed to attempt number 2, but you might find that your signal is lower than the noise....

7:44 PM  

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